Turner's Pudenda Drawings and Cocks-At-Point

Never in history has the reading public so anticipa-
ted the release of an author's first published work--
but the date is near and all expectations will soon
be fulfilled.

Yes, in mid-December the author known simply as
T. will have his new book, Turner's Pudenda Draw-
ings stocked in book stores across America and
abroad. For the first time art devotees and art de-
votas will learn the truth about those mysterious
drawings Joseph Turner made of female pudenda--

some 363 of them, 112 in pastel, 130 in charcoal,
115 in ink by quill, and six in some palish-white
substance, origin unknown but guessed at.

T. goes to great lengths to assertain the impulse be-
hind the apparent obsession Turner reveals by
"these 363 drawngs. Also, T. seeks to explain why
the artist left all his unsold work to the British na-
tion; and why, years after his death, most of the
paper pads were yet boxed, wrapped and stored
in the cellars of the National Gallery, unapprecia-
ted and ignored.

The 363 drawings, however, were not forgotten.

T. tells us that after a time the trustees of the mu-
seam agreed to sell the drawings, as space was need-
ed for other acquisitions. The lot fell into the hands
of a one Draco Delo Quinn, an auctioneer for the
London trade firm, Smyth and BB Wheatly, and
who had in the summer of 1857 auctioned off Lady
Jan Chittenton's entire collection of Andocides' 'pe-
nis pottery,' -- a name Lady Jan gave herself to the
hundreds of household pots thrown by the Greek
potter who invented the 'red-figure-at point' tech-
nique, a skill envied by all other potters of the time
(6th Century BC).

One such pot-work went on display in the gardens
of a country house outside Berlin, T. reports, shows
Heracles and Apollo struggling over the possession
of a Delphic tripod. Both men are erect, pricks 'at the
point' dabbed red, in Andocides unmistakable style.

The background is black.

T.'s detective work has uncovered other 'penis pots,'
either on sale or in private collections; and oddly
here's the frame for his new book-- those art lovers
who have collected Andocides have aslo collected
Turner's pudenda drawings.

T.'s research follows the trail of 'pricks' depicted on
pots' and Turner's pundenda drawings-- who bought
them at the auction? who sold them after? who bought
for others? who sold? who kept? who donated? -- and
where are they now?

T. accounts for the whereabouts of 349 female puden-
da drawings made by Joseph Turner, and has found
the owners of 767 pots depicting 'red-pointing' pricks.

T. does not mention the androgynous 'pricks' who run
Gazebo, nor the sweet and tiny innocent pudenda of
giggly girls enrolled in Catholic colleges-- those tasty
morsels from good homes.

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