Saturday, October 17, 2009

a void

delirium
and the swirling attrocities
of my insipid memories
tantalize the moment
when i disemboweled myself
in the parking lot
outside the pharmacy
where i often purchased
my anti-depressants
and M&Ms
Posted by at

6 comments:

  1. PSMOctober 17, 2009 at 4:02 PM

    This scared me. I was going through my files at work. I found this. I have no memory of writing it -- fugue state? Crap.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pamme BoutselisOctober 17, 2009 at 4:07 PM

    Perhaps your words should have scared me, but yet what struck me most was the anti-depressants and M&Ms, both harbor their own addictions.

    I'm sure it did bother you to know that you were at one time in such a state and such have no recollection of capturing it.

    Delerium s/b delirium.

    This is a powerful little piece, PSM.

    ReplyDelete
  3. PSMOctober 17, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    Thank you Pamme for the spelling; it's been fixed. Addiction. Sex, drugs, and self-mutilation. Your most recent piece about the babysitter really caught me. I could talk about the damage done to kids and families for hours because of incest and men/women having sex with obviously innocent children. I shall have, yet, another alcoholic beverage.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 17, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    fuck an A. you did it again. I see you moving towards a more complex minimilism. it fucking works.

    david

    ReplyDelete
  5. Pamme BoutselisOctober 19, 2009 at 6:03 AM

    It's one thing to know the horrors that are out there, and in many cases, help sort out the pain and seek retribution on someone's behalf, but what does one do with what they've seen, or what they know? What do you do with that pain?

    These lyrics always hit me hard from "Until It Sleeps" ---

    Where do I take this pain of mine
    I run but it stays right by my side
    So tear me open, pour me out
    The things inside that scream and shout
    And the pain still hates me, so hold me until it sleeps

    Just like a curse, just like a stray
    You feed it once and now it stays
    How it stays

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousOctober 20, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    That is the very best writing; when you don't remember having written it, and it's damned good.
    Yes, it's a fugue.

    ReplyDelete

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